I am very aware that I am quiet with this blog at the moment.
I am writing this post to clarify this feeling. I reject this blog, but not my chaser that I love above everything.
For instance, this morning when I first woke up, he is the first person I thought of and tonight he will be the last…but something stronger prevents me from contacting him or writing on this blog.
I want to forget about you. I am scared. It scares the hell out of me, because I love you and when I see you, it brings up terrifying turmoil. I would like to feel rested, calm, structured, but every time I am in this state of mind, I spend my time:
Bump into people we both know. Just by coincidence, all of a sudden everybody I pass or contacts me know you.
Meet people who bear similarities with you, physical or else.
See the name of your business everywhere.
Anyway, I feel chased… everything brings me back to you.
As I am the runner, I run away from my mission. I am very attracted to my twin, but I don’t want to marry him nor look after his children. This is not because I don’t like his children, (I don’t know them) nor that I don’t like children in general (I love them). My twin doesn’t want me just as his mistress, he wants me whole or not at all. As he is married, for him it’s not at all, however, he tries to make me jealous and to make me love his kids. I have a whole collection of pictures of his kids, especially the youngest daughter who cracks me up. He gave them to me…
Love letter to my chaser:
What a story…….. my dear love. Something tremendous, extraordinary, divine, gentle, powerful and intense is happening to us.
I didn’t realise at first, that’s the least we could say. Straight from the start, I felt at ease with you. This is clear, not a loving feeling, but rather gentle tenderness. For instance, I would let you enter my social distance, even though I am quite an introvert. On top of that, you are the type of man that I am not usually attracted to. The kind I normally runaway from…